Saturday, September 19, 2009

Breaking News: Alcohol Impairs Judgement

Oh, hello there internet! Have you missed me? I've missed you. There were so many things I wanted to share with you, but you kept giving me mixed signals. Actually, it was more like no signal. But beggars can't be choosers, and I can't exactly knock on my neighbors door and ask her to fix her router so I can continue stealing her internet.
And now back to your previously scheduled post...


Breakfast: rice cake, banana, & water= 150 calories
Lunch: ramen= 150 calories

Over the course of an 8 hour workday, I'd had managed to only consume 300 calories. Needless to say, they were all gone when I left work at 5:30.

However, there were still a few minutes left in the UT game (and we weren't doing too horribly) so I decided to stop at a
nearby bar to catch the end of it.

I ordered a pint, and proceeded to have any wishful thinking disappear when our quarterback threw an interception to cinch the loss.

The games over, I close the tab (of my ONE beer), and I realize I'm a bit tipsy.

One pint...of LIGHT beer, and suddenly I can't stop smiling and laughing at the cacophony of jokes inside my head. [ex. What's a pirate's favorite kind of socks? ARRRRRGyle

Fortunately, I had planned on walking home from work.
Unfortunately, it's a 45 minute walk and the 100 calories i just drank weren't cutting it.

I walked for about 25 minutes and realized i was right by A MCDONALDS!!!

"ooo! I remember mcdonalds! As I recall, it is the most delicious establishment in the world!"

I call John, and admit my drinking foible. Then, I proceed to tell him that I am walking to Mcdonalds and he should pick me up.

I have a very enjoyable conversation with my server about the fact that a Mcdouble is $1.00, and a cheeseburger (which is the same thing, with one less hamburger patty) is $.99.
Is a second beef patty only a penny? (she said no).
Then I pointed out that a hamburger is only 5 cents less than a cheeseburger...yet it costs 30 cents if you add cheese to anything.
i think she really liked me!

Fortunately, John found me gabbing with the lady, and he rescued her from anymore of my questions. We grabbed our food, and in my brilliance decided to stop at the store and pick-up some more beers before heading home to drink and dine.

Here's the thing i learned: once the buzz wears off, you're still stuck eating mcdonalds.

eww.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This story made me pee my pants with laughter!