All week long people have been telling me I look great, and asking if I've lost weight.
Haha, I wish! Not even close.
My secret?
I bought a utilities payment worth of new bras.
Now, rather than my chesticles hanging low and lazy, they now stand at attention all day long.
I can't even see my feet anymore, and that's quite a feat* considering I stumble through the world on size 11 clonkers. Fortunately, I still have my ample derriere to keep myself from constantly falling over.
There's no point to this post...except to humiliate my male relatives that read this blog!
(Hi there Dad, Pepe, and brothers:)
*pun intended
Friday, June 26, 2009
I'm Hot Blooded, Check it and See
Being a Southern Girl, I always rolled my eyes whenever people from the north complained about the heat. "Yeah right," I'd think, "I dare to spend ONE day in the South....wimp"
I guess I've joined the dark side because IT'S TOO EFFING HOT!!!!!
However, here's why I think my complaint is justified:
I HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONING!!!
When we picked out our cute pint-size apartment last year, we assumed, "No big deal. We're from the south, we can handle the summers here. I mean, how bad can it get?"
Well, it's been in the 90s. And 92 degrees outside means 92 degrees in my living room.
This past weekend, it was too hot to function. I went to a movie by myself, just to be in the air conditioning for 2 hours. Playing tennis at noon was more refreshing than being in the house (and as a redhead, I was always taught to fear the outdoors between 11a-3p, less I turn into a bright red lobster). I couldn't wait for weekend to be over, so I could go back to work, where it is a comfortable 68 degrees.
We went to home depot to "price" ac units, which basically consisted of us walking around saying, "yep, there's no way we can afford one." Afterwards, we "tested" the patio furniture display, while enjoying the ac and prolonging going home as much as possible...
It's getting ridiculous. We currently own 2 fans, and just carry them with us from room to room. I've put off buying more fans because I'd rather spend the money on an ac unit (sure, circulated air is better, but it's still hot air). And John doesn't want to purchase an ac unit because, "it's only for 2 more months. We can survive, it's not that bad." (which is french for: I'm a big cheapskate and I'd rather suffer than spend money and be comfortable...and please note he had no problem spending the money when it came to the new tv)
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But I know one thing for sure, a ninety degree apartment, with a super hot computer in my lap is NOT an option. Ugh.
I guess I've joined the dark side because IT'S TOO EFFING HOT!!!!!
However, here's why I think my complaint is justified:
I HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONING!!!
When we picked out our cute pint-size apartment last year, we assumed, "No big deal. We're from the south, we can handle the summers here. I mean, how bad can it get?"
Well, it's been in the 90s. And 92 degrees outside means 92 degrees in my living room.
This past weekend, it was too hot to function. I went to a movie by myself, just to be in the air conditioning for 2 hours. Playing tennis at noon was more refreshing than being in the house (and as a redhead, I was always taught to fear the outdoors between 11a-3p, less I turn into a bright red lobster). I couldn't wait for weekend to be over, so I could go back to work, where it is a comfortable 68 degrees.
We went to home depot to "price" ac units, which basically consisted of us walking around saying, "yep, there's no way we can afford one." Afterwards, we "tested" the patio furniture display, while enjoying the ac and prolonging going home as much as possible...
It's getting ridiculous. We currently own 2 fans, and just carry them with us from room to room. I've put off buying more fans because I'd rather spend the money on an ac unit (sure, circulated air is better, but it's still hot air). And John doesn't want to purchase an ac unit because, "it's only for 2 more months. We can survive, it's not that bad." (which is french for: I'm a big cheapskate and I'd rather suffer than spend money and be comfortable...and please note he had no problem spending the money when it came to the new tv)
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But I know one thing for sure, a ninety degree apartment, with a super hot computer in my lap is NOT an option. Ugh.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Embracing the Paula Dean in me
I'm trying to come up with a recipe to wow my co-workers with at the company picnic this weekend.
What dish says, "double my salary"?
What dish says, "double my salary"?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
My Life as a Belly Dancer
No, you read it correctly. For some reason, I signed up for Belly Dancing Fitness classes through MSCR: an organization that provides recreational classes for Madison Residents.
I've only taken one other "fitness class" before, it did not go well. As a college student, I was coerced into attending a step aerobics class. And I am not exaggerating when I say, I never, not once, faced the same direction as the rest of the class. It's been 6 years, but I was still hesistant to try something similar.
Then, there's the obvious fact that in no way to I look like a belly dancer. I give off no belly dancing vibes...i have more of a drunken ostrich essence about me.
Here's a breakdown of my class:
I walk in.
Hmm, I could turn around and run right now, no one knows me.
Instead, I go ahead to a spot in the back of the room. I make sure to stand behind the largest woman in the class...so as to feel better about myself.
Ok, no one here is in belly dance shape. This is a class for beginners, I can do this!
The instructor walks in. She's teeny, and donning some festive tattoos. I like her instantly. She introduces herself, and tells us that she's been studying belly dancing for 7 years.
I'm going to too! I will study it for decades and become a leading expert!
She turns on the music and we begin. Within 5 minutes every muscle burns. I am using body parts I didn't know I have, and bending in ways i didn't know were possible.
Oww! I hate this! I am never belly dancing again! I should leave right now...
She announces, "Ok, now that we're done warming-up, we can get started."
Wait, what!?!? That was just a WARM-UP????? I hope you know I hate you.
We start moving our hips and arms at various speeds to the music.
Hey! I'm not doing too bad! Maybe I am an undiscovered prodigy. Maybe I owe it to the world to become an instructor and share my talent.
We start moving around the floor in a half-aerobics, half-belly dancing routine. Suddenly, it is 6 years ago and I can't figure out the tempo or which direction to turn to. She must have noticed my concern, because she looked at me and shouted, "don't worry, you're doing fine. Just do what you feel comfortable with"
I'd be most comfortable sitting anywhere else besides here...drinking.
Somehow, the hour went by, and I survived. I actually feel great, and think I will be able to handle this. Only seven more classes to go!
However, if you are considering taking belly dancing, please feel free to learn from my mistakes. Here are some things I did wrong:
With any luck, I will go from this:
To this:
But I'm not sure where I'll find all that sand....
I've only taken one other "fitness class" before, it did not go well. As a college student, I was coerced into attending a step aerobics class. And I am not exaggerating when I say, I never, not once, faced the same direction as the rest of the class. It's been 6 years, but I was still hesistant to try something similar.
Then, there's the obvious fact that in no way to I look like a belly dancer. I give off no belly dancing vibes...i have more of a drunken ostrich essence about me.
Here's a breakdown of my class:
I walk in.
Hmm, I could turn around and run right now, no one knows me.
Instead, I go ahead to a spot in the back of the room. I make sure to stand behind the largest woman in the class...so as to feel better about myself.
Ok, no one here is in belly dance shape. This is a class for beginners, I can do this!
The instructor walks in. She's teeny, and donning some festive tattoos. I like her instantly. She introduces herself, and tells us that she's been studying belly dancing for 7 years.
I'm going to too! I will study it for decades and become a leading expert!
She turns on the music and we begin. Within 5 minutes every muscle burns. I am using body parts I didn't know I have, and bending in ways i didn't know were possible.
Oww! I hate this! I am never belly dancing again! I should leave right now...
She announces, "Ok, now that we're done warming-up, we can get started."
Wait, what!?!? That was just a WARM-UP????? I hope you know I hate you.
We start moving our hips and arms at various speeds to the music.
Hey! I'm not doing too bad! Maybe I am an undiscovered prodigy. Maybe I owe it to the world to become an instructor and share my talent.
We start moving around the floor in a half-aerobics, half-belly dancing routine. Suddenly, it is 6 years ago and I can't figure out the tempo or which direction to turn to. She must have noticed my concern, because she looked at me and shouted, "don't worry, you're doing fine. Just do what you feel comfortable with"
I'd be most comfortable sitting anywhere else besides here...drinking.
Somehow, the hour went by, and I survived. I actually feel great, and think I will be able to handle this. Only seven more classes to go!
However, if you are considering taking belly dancing, please feel free to learn from my mistakes. Here are some things I did wrong:
- no eating an hour before. I definitely scarfed down loads of goat cheese bruschetta right before going.
- remember to hydrate. The 3 beers I had before I went (to calm the nerves about the first class) definitely did NOT help.
- Either completely embrace it and go balls-out in a ostentatious outfit, or wear loose baggy work-out clothes. I hadn't really intended for my belly to see daylight during the class, but there is was, poking out seeing who else was around.
With any luck, I will go from this:
To this:
But I'm not sure where I'll find all that sand....
Monday, June 15, 2009
When Did Bradley Cooper Become Hot?
"It's now illegal to masturbate on a plane. Thanks a lot Bin Laden"
My ab workout last night consisted of snot-laughing through The Hangover. Hands down, funniest movie of the year.
But seriously, when did Bradley Cooper become so yummy? I've seen him in other films, Wedding Crashers most memorably (as well as some others that I'd rather not admit to watching...). And while his characters were memorable, he wasn't much to look at.
The Evolution of Brad:
eww, not hot
not hot
not hot
and then, BOOM
GORGEOUS
"Sure, I'll go out with you Bradley Cooper! Well...yes, I am technically married, but for you I'm sure we could work out some kind of arrangement."
(Besides, I've had the Do-It-Yourself Divorce link saved under 'My Favorites' ever since Husband went to get ice cream TWO BLOCKS from where I work, and not only did he not bring me anything, he didn't even stop by to say hello. IF THAT'S NOT IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!!!)
In short, if you haven't seen The Hangover yet, go! I haven't paid full price for a movie ticket in years, but this one was worth every penny*
*however, it is vulgar and crass...but that's my genre of choice
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Did You Know I Like Drinking?
I'm sure it's surprising, but I have been known to partake in a refreshing beverage on occasion.
Today is no exception. After unsuccessfully convincing any co-workers to join me for Happy Hour, I called the one person I knew would never say no to a cheap pint.
Once Husband arrived (were you able to guess who it was??), we enjoyed $2.50 Capital Amber. The Orpheum not only offers outdoor seating and amazing deals, but they have complementary hors' d'oeuvres during the happiest of hours!
I decided the amber, while priced correctly, wasn't my cup of tea*; so I generously donated the remainder of my beer to Husband while I indulged in a mojito.
Not only was it on sale, it was the best mojito I've ever had. I felt the need to document my glass of euphoria.
Sadly, as with all good things, it eventually came to an end.
Which caused this:
I tried to order another one, but they were out of mint. I contemplated whether to order a different drink, since it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying...
But alas, decided no. I thought it would be more fun to take pictures of Husband instead!!
He was a good sport at first, but quickly started getting annoyed.
And then, I got the look that i get every.single.time.
Don't believe me? Here's the same look, different day:
Ah, the comforts of home.
*or glass of beer in this case
Today is no exception. After unsuccessfully convincing any co-workers to join me for Happy Hour, I called the one person I knew would never say no to a cheap pint.
Once Husband arrived (were you able to guess who it was??), we enjoyed $2.50 Capital Amber. The Orpheum not only offers outdoor seating and amazing deals, but they have complementary hors' d'oeuvres during the happiest of hours!
I decided the amber, while priced correctly, wasn't my cup of tea*; so I generously donated the remainder of my beer to Husband while I indulged in a mojito.
Not only was it on sale, it was the best mojito I've ever had. I felt the need to document my glass of euphoria.
Sadly, as with all good things, it eventually came to an end.
Which caused this:
I tried to order another one, but they were out of mint. I contemplated whether to order a different drink, since it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying...
But alas, decided no. I thought it would be more fun to take pictures of Husband instead!!
He was a good sport at first, but quickly started getting annoyed.
And then, I got the look that i get every.single.time.
Don't believe me? Here's the same look, different day:
Ah, the comforts of home.
*or glass of beer in this case
My Everest
My quality of life would be greatly improved if I had a washer and dryer.
I never knew how lucky I was in the past... I also never knew two people could go through so many clothes!!!!
Only once before have I lived without a w/d combo. It hardly mattered, right next door to my apartment was a laundromat that included tv, couches, vending machines, and free wifi!
Since I was too broke to afford internet in my apt, it was perfect. I actually looked forward to doing my laundry so that I could lazily surf the net for a couple hours....my clothes had never been cleaner :)
I naively assumed that all laundromats were like this...oh how wrong I was.
We do have a w/d set in the creepy basement of our apt, but I never have quarters, and the machines are so ancient, they barely work.
So instead I generally opt to go to the laundromat. Not wanting to have to take several trips... I tend to let the clothes pile up for weeks before I eventually wrestle them into laundry bags, lug them down the stairs, and drag them to my car.
We live right by UW, so there are a ton of 'mats to choose from. I prefer to avoid the campus ones though because they are a complete rip-off.
I go to where they have the best machines for the cheapest amount of money...otherwise known as the ghetto.
The moment I pull into the parking lot I get stared at. I park my new(ish) suv next to the colorful 1970's impalas... and it's like playing the Highlights game "Which one does not belong?"
Once I get my 500lbs of clothes inside the door, I am serenaded by the soothing sounds of the spanish speaking radio station.
I am definitely the only anglo-saxon that goes to this particular laund-o-rama. But it's kind of fun. It's like going to the United Nations. I hear a menage of different languages and see all kinds of "traditional cultural apparel".
Oh, and the utter joy i get from all the children! "Let's bring them to the laundromat! And better yet, let's not provide them with any activities or toys!" No worries, The other visitors will get such joy from seeing your kids running around screaming, crawling into the dryers, and trying to take random items off people's folding tables.
All grievances aside, I climbed my Everest:
Yes sir, in a mere 2 hours (aka-8 screaming children) I washed every piece of dirty clothing in our house...only to come home and have Husband dump the contents of his suitcase back into the hamper.
Oh well, A for effort. Maybe I should do laundry more than once a month...
I never knew how lucky I was in the past... I also never knew two people could go through so many clothes!!!!
Only once before have I lived without a w/d combo. It hardly mattered, right next door to my apartment was a laundromat that included tv, couches, vending machines, and free wifi!
Since I was too broke to afford internet in my apt, it was perfect. I actually looked forward to doing my laundry so that I could lazily surf the net for a couple hours....my clothes had never been cleaner :)
I naively assumed that all laundromats were like this...oh how wrong I was.
We do have a w/d set in the creepy basement of our apt, but I never have quarters, and the machines are so ancient, they barely work.
So instead I generally opt to go to the laundromat. Not wanting to have to take several trips... I tend to let the clothes pile up for weeks before I eventually wrestle them into laundry bags, lug them down the stairs, and drag them to my car.
We live right by UW, so there are a ton of 'mats to choose from. I prefer to avoid the campus ones though because they are a complete rip-off.
I go to where they have the best machines for the cheapest amount of money...otherwise known as the ghetto.
The moment I pull into the parking lot I get stared at. I park my new(ish) suv next to the colorful 1970's impalas... and it's like playing the Highlights game "Which one does not belong?"
Once I get my 500lbs of clothes inside the door, I am serenaded by the soothing sounds of the spanish speaking radio station.
I am definitely the only anglo-saxon that goes to this particular laund-o-rama. But it's kind of fun. It's like going to the United Nations. I hear a menage of different languages and see all kinds of "traditional cultural apparel".
Oh, and the utter joy i get from all the children! "Let's bring them to the laundromat! And better yet, let's not provide them with any activities or toys!" No worries, The other visitors will get such joy from seeing your kids running around screaming, crawling into the dryers, and trying to take random items off people's folding tables.
All grievances aside, I climbed my Everest:
Yes sir, in a mere 2 hours (aka-8 screaming children) I washed every piece of dirty clothing in our house...only to come home and have Husband dump the contents of his suitcase back into the hamper.
Oh well, A for effort. Maybe I should do laundry more than once a month...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Best Offense, is a Good Defense
I need to lose some weight...
Actually, I have. I've lost about 15 pounds and gone down a pant size (woop, woop). But that's over the course of a year. Granted I've made progress, but I would prefer go faster than a snail's speed.
This was made all the more clear when Husband announced he's lost 20 lbs this past year... (obligatory "hooray for him, blah, blah, blah). but he hasn't done a thing to cause it!
I have enjoyed working out at curves (although in sporadic regularity), and I feel great when I eat healthy... unfortunately, I also enjoy eating complete crap too :)
I think if I could nosh better, I would be seeing mad-CRAZY results! So I've decided that the best offense if a good defense.
If I stock the house with all kinds of delicious (and not horrible for my arteries) foods, then maybe I won't be so tempted to beeline to whichever fast food commercial airs on the tv.
It's time to not be apathetic...
at least as far as meals are concerned...
for a couple months at least...
well maybe just a couple days....
maybe we'll just start with dinner tonight...
God bless Apathy.
Actually, I have. I've lost about 15 pounds and gone down a pant size (woop, woop). But that's over the course of a year. Granted I've made progress, but I would prefer go faster than a snail's speed.
This was made all the more clear when Husband announced he's lost 20 lbs this past year... (obligatory "hooray for him, blah, blah, blah). but he hasn't done a thing to cause it!
I have enjoyed working out at curves (although in sporadic regularity), and I feel great when I eat healthy... unfortunately, I also enjoy eating complete crap too :)
I think if I could nosh better, I would be seeing mad-CRAZY results! So I've decided that the best offense if a good defense.
If I stock the house with all kinds of delicious (and not horrible for my arteries) foods, then maybe I won't be so tempted to beeline to whichever fast food commercial airs on the tv.
It's time to not be apathetic...
at least as far as meals are concerned...
for a couple months at least...
well maybe just a couple days....
maybe we'll just start with dinner tonight...
God bless Apathy.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Gimme
Here are some things i've gotten in the last few weeks that make me broke happy:
i guess i've been a little dress happy lately
this on is much darker in person, more like navy
my NEW tevas (thanks mom!!)
And like any addict, I don't know when to stop and am now obsessed with getting these too:
i guess i've been a little dress happy lately
this on is much darker in person, more like navy
my NEW tevas (thanks mom!!)
And like any addict, I don't know when to stop and am now obsessed with getting these too:
Update
Not like you really cared, but for the moment I'm going to pretend you were holding your breath until you heard from me again:
A couple weeks ago, I went on a fantastic vacation home. To the land of Elvis, fed ex, bbq and three 6 mafia. (that's Memphis, for those of you who didn't bother to memorize your southern city trivia)
Yes sir, I got to play with the puppies, siblings and parents, AND hanging out with my 2 yr-old nephew, Simon!
It took him about 30 minutes to adjust to me, and i was his new favorite toy. Everything he did, he wanted to do with Aunty. Bedtimes, bathtimes, playtimes. He was even nice enough to save his poopie diapers just for me! (you can imagine my joy)
Eventually, I had to say goodbye and come back to the real world. Husband and I have reached that point in our lives where we take separate vacations, so we are packing for his trip to the beach (jealous!) this evening... well, he's packing and I'm drinking, bossing him around, and belittling his outfit choices :)
A couple weeks ago, I went on a fantastic vacation home. To the land of Elvis, fed ex, bbq and three 6 mafia. (that's Memphis, for those of you who didn't bother to memorize your southern city trivia)
Yes sir, I got to play with the puppies, siblings and parents, AND hanging out with my 2 yr-old nephew, Simon!
It took him about 30 minutes to adjust to me, and i was his new favorite toy. Everything he did, he wanted to do with Aunty. Bedtimes, bathtimes, playtimes. He was even nice enough to save his poopie diapers just for me! (you can imagine my joy)
Eventually, I had to say goodbye and come back to the real world. Husband and I have reached that point in our lives where we take separate vacations, so we are packing for his trip to the beach (jealous!) this evening... well, he's packing and I'm drinking, bossing him around, and belittling his outfit choices :)
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