My Life as a Belly Dancer

No, you read it correctly. For some reason, I signed up for Belly Dancing Fitness classes through MSCR: an organization that provides recreational classes for Madison Residents.

I've only taken one other "fitness class" before, it did not go well. As a college student, I was coerced into attending a step aerobics class. And I am not exaggerating when I say, I never, not once, faced the same direction as the rest of the class. It's been 6 years, but I was still hesistant to try something similar.

Then, there's the obvious fact that in no way to I look like a belly dancer. I give off no belly dancing vibes...i have more of a drunken ostrich essence about me.

Here's a breakdown of my class:

I walk in.
Hmm, I could turn around and run right now, no one knows me.

Instead, I go ahead to a spot in the back of the room. I make sure to stand behind the largest woman in the class...so as to feel better about myself.
Ok, no one here is in belly dance shape. This is a class for beginners, I can do this!

The instructor walks in. She's teeny, and donning some festive tattoos. I like her instantly. She introduces herself, and tells us that she's been studying belly dancing for 7 years.
I'm going to too! I will study it for decades and become a leading expert!

She turns on the music and we begin. Within 5 minutes every muscle burns. I am using body parts I didn't know I have, and bending in ways i didn't know were possible.
Oww! I hate this! I am never belly dancing again! I should leave right now...

She announces, "Ok, now that we're done warming-up, we can get started."
Wait, what!?!? That was just a WARM-UP????? I hope you know I hate you.

We start moving our hips and arms at various speeds to the music.
Hey! I'm not doing too bad! Maybe I am an undiscovered prodigy. Maybe I owe it to the world to become an instructor and share my talent.

We start moving around the floor in a half-aerobics, half-belly dancing routine. Suddenly, it is 6 years ago and I can't figure out the tempo or which direction to turn to. She must have noticed my concern, because she looked at me and shouted, "don't worry, you're doing fine. Just do what you feel comfortable with"
I'd be most comfortable sitting anywhere else besides here...drinking.

Somehow, the hour went by, and I survived. I actually feel great, and think I will be able to handle this. Only seven more classes to go!

However, if you are considering taking belly dancing, please feel free to learn from my mistakes. Here are some things I did wrong:

• no eating an hour before. I definitely scarfed down loads of goat cheese bruschetta right before going.
• remember to hydrate. The 3 beers I had before I went (to calm the nerves about the first class) definitely did NOT help.
• Either completely embrace it and go balls-out in a ostentatious outfit, or wear loose baggy work-out clothes. I hadn't really intended for my belly to see daylight during the class, but there is was, poking out seeing who else was around.

With any luck, I will go from this:


To this:


But I'm not sure where I'll find all that sand....