GPOYW.

Totally Radical, dude! -edition

ps. i'm not naked. i have a top on, i swear!

Second Place is the First Loser.

I did not win.

i am not the superior human being.

related: cheating on a diet is soooo satisfying.

also related: who can loan me 50 bucks??

GPOYW.

Don't come between me and dessert -edition

A Proper Wedding Recap.

I have a confession.

I willingly traveled to Gary,IN a couple weekends ago.

for the love of this girl.

who is that daughter of this guy.

she got married.

and it made her very happy.

you see, it's all this guy's fault.

he had these guys.

which led to these guys,

and now all these people have him to blame for their existence.

including these two cute little doodlebugs.

and this one, asked a girl to dance.

which means we might be starting this whole convoluted process over again.

(i mean, they already match and everything)

so congrats cousin and hubby! you guys are adorable!

Dad's Day

i adore my father.

even though he's a couple gold necklaces from dressing like a guido.

even though he currently has a pony tail.

even though he's on the cutting-edge of trends.

because although he looks like a bad irish version of an italian mobster, you see pictures like this and realize he's a great big teddy bear:

happy father's day to him, and all the other wonderful, patient, involved dads out there!

Empower Yourself, Get Naked!

I rode my bike to farmer's market today.

That in itself is not so atypical.

I went for a loaf of stella's...and to see some nudity.

(yep, right there's the weird part)

today was the naked bike ride.

and like any good creeper, i couldn't ignore it.

i thought it would go around the square at 11, but i realized i was mistaken and that the parade would start at 11, but no one knew when it would get to the square.

so i waited, and waited. and felt like a perv as i was waiting to leer.

i mean, how long does a person wait to see some, probably, ugly naked people on bikes?

right as i was about to leave (and wash my shame off of me) i saw them in the distance.

Leading the way was a police officer, who clearly wanted everyone to know that he was not affiliated with the group. he kept shouting, "so far, we haven't received any complaints. please let me know if you would like to make a complaint!"

and we all shouted, "woooo!! no complaints! woooo!!!"

i stood there in awe of these people. snapping little pictures on my camera.

and then, realized how very close i was standing to the curb. in my expert opinion, far too close.

there was not enough space between me and their genitalia.

so i took a giant step back, where i could appreciate them, but wasn't immersed in it.

they were shouting, "empower yourself, get naked!" and "zero emissions per journey!"

not everyone was fully naked.

not everyone was attractive. (most weren't, actually)

not everyone had much to be proud of.

but i was in awe of their ability to participate.

on the one hand, i felt empowered by the naked bike ride, on the other it smelled like sweaty naked people.

as i biked home, i thought about their parade. i envied them, and wished i had the courage to do it. i doubt my parents would disown me, we always had the philosophy that "skin is better than violence" -which is reason #174 why i really can't live in The South, but i digress.

i mean really, if i were to die today, the best my tombstone could read is "law abiding citizen"... i mean, beloved law abiding citizen, but still. maybe it's time i live life to the fullest.

I suddenly wanted to throw of my shirt and join them.

In the front though, ahead of the smelly naked-exhaust.

i would have just worn a bra and shorts, but that still would have been a huge step forward for me.

but by the time i finally mustered up the courage, i was already home so i just decided instead to sit in my lovely air conditioned living room and type this blog post.

topless, of course.

Welcome to my neuroses.

preface: when you don't have a job, your mind power is wasted on useless things...but who am i kidding, i'd be obsessing about this even if i was employed.

I've been very confused recently.

You see, the pictures i've been posting haven't looked quite right to me lately.

like yesterday's:

I know for a fact i was in the driver's seat, and it was not a british car.

but the seatbelt placement looks like i was a passenger.

and this dress:

my self portrait made me paranoid.

i thought, "bloody hell, did i put the dress on backwards??!??!"

so, my crazy mind obsesses about these weird circumstances, and the fact that i might not be capable of dressing myself. and then i realized:

this is my super old phone (which i love, btw)

it has a neat feature that you can use the front screen for self portraits.

which i do. all.the.time.

(that's what solidarity does to you; makes you an expert in narcissism)

i didn't realize that, on self-portrait mode, it reverses the image.

but now that i know, i can rest easy.

i'm still capable of dressing myself...

sort of.

GPOYW.

sportin' my $3 elvis shades -edition

why is it that i've held onto these longer than any other

pair i've ever owned/paid good money for???

I'd love to post pictures from this past weekend,

but i am sans camera, and all i have are the most random compilation of cell phone pictures known to man. Perhaps my family can email me some, asap? (hint! hint!)

nevertheless, here you go. this is what i have, and you'll LIKE it, dammit:

really shellbell? you're with your entire family for the first time in months, and this is the first picture you take of the weekend? oh how i cheated on my diet... :(

all purtified for my cousin's wedding. super proud that i went from swimming pool-dirty to squeaky clean-ready in 30 min.

this is a portrait my nephew took of my brother. yep.

brother, brother's wife, and the best niece ever. and also, a gallon of water.

my niece is the smartest and prettiest.

this has nothing to do with the weekend. this is just a delicious salad i made for lunch today. it was so yummy, it deserved some spotlight.

Yeah, i'm thinking i really need my family to email me some pics. because as entertaining as these pictures are, i really don't think they tell a proper story of how great the weekend was.

Wow.

sure, i write hundreds of genius, awe-inspiring, thought-provoking posts and hear nothing from you people.
Seriously, crickets.

but slap a few dresses on here, and eeeeeeverybody's got an opinion.

and, i appreciate it! thank you.

ultimately, i have decided to keep all 3.

i mean, they're all cute.

they're already paid for. the money's already out of the account, and i could still afford gas if i needed it (though not much...). not to mention, my own mother is the one who told me not to take any back, and really she fully knows that she's the one i would call sniffly and crying, begging for money (yes, that's right ladies and gentleman, my mom comments on here as "the drama queen"... welcome to my world)

and the most expensive one was only $25.

maybe i just needed to get a little perspective.

I feel the need to explain why i am keeping each one. Not for you, but to convince myself that i am doing the right thing :) my cheap ass still needs persuading.

normally, i have to try something on before i buy it. but i loved this one without any proof that it would fit my body-type. i still love it, the pattern and halter cut are perfect for summer fun. I just hate that it was the priciest one, yet contains the least amount of fabric.

this is a horrible picture. the dress is already off the website, so i found this image from a random google search. Truthfully, i wanted it in navy blue. but my friends made me get green because a) redheads rock green like none other, and b) my instinct is to always buy navy blue. Seriously, 4 blue dresses in my closet already. honestly, if i were to take one back, it might have been this one, but since it's already offline, i am scared that it will be gone from the stores soon too, and i'll have missed by opportunity for a cute spaghetti strap ruffle dress (oh, the horror!)

Ok. LADIES, pay attention. I feel compelled to defend this dress choice. You guys voted this one off the island, but it might actually be the one i love the most.
it is my mission to convince all of you of the wonderfulness of the maxi dress (ie- long dress)

think about it, it's hot outside, you need to look cute, but GAH! you forgot to shave! you're legs are hairier than a polar bear. With this little gem, you can just slip it on, look great, feel comfy, and sit on the terrace drinking beer at sunset (well...those are my plans, you can do whatever you want with this). Seriously, i had a dress like this last summer, and it was perfect for when i was exhausted from work, but still needed to look semi-decent.

and i feel the need to reiterate, NO SHAVING!

so again, thank you all for your opinions and help. I really appreciate it, and i will think you fondly everytime i wear them.

I have a dilemma.

but it's a "good" dilemma.

I have recently bought 3 dresses.

they're all adorable!

but, i'm still unemployed, and 3 dresses sounds like a bit much.

(esp. considering there's another one in my closet i haven't worn yet either)

So, i feel as though i can only keep two.

one should go back to the store.

and i am at my wit's end trying to decide!

i love them all.

is this one dress too many? what's a girl to do?

and also, i need to stop buying summer dresses and start buying shirts i can wear to work! geez! enough already shellbell.