Don't Fear the Reaper

And by 'reaper', of course i mean dentist

So, i had hinted in a prevoius post that i recently received some bad news from el diablo.
and by 'el diablo', of course i mean dentist.

When i was a kid, my parents were friends with our family dentist. I felt entirely comfortable going there regularly. She even had redhair! it felt like an extension of our family. An extension with sharp, scary pokey tools, but family nonetheless.

However, when I was 8, i had to get my first filling. Sadly, i was excited about it. My older brothers had both gotten them, and i had brilliantly deduced that fillings meant you were cool.

There i was, lying in a chair, looking up at a person i had previously trusted completely. And she took a DRILL and started hacking away at my MOUTH

i couldn't believe it! I just thought getting a cavity meant that they numbed your mouth and you got to talk funny for a couple hours. Who knew they were going to torture you first!?

Here's the kicker. They hadn't given me enough novocaine. And eight year-old me didn't want to be rude and interrupt her, so i just sat there feeling everything.

it.was.horrible. My dentist/patient relationship changed right then and there.

As a child i brushed daily, but it was a half-assed attempt.

In college, i may or may not have passed out a few too many nights before getting the chance to brush the ol' teeth.

Like every other co-ed i knew, I would go to the dentist around christmas and easter. For the mere fact that i was home and could guilt my parents into paying for the dentist visits.

I was like every other god-fearing american. I would neglect my teeth for 6mths, then brush thoroughly the night before, and sit in the chair and act surprised when the dentist told me my mouth was in bad shape.

"What? I have cavaties? That's weird because i floss everyday! "
they didn't need to know that that tradition had only started 12hrs ago...


When i became an adult*, i went to my first denist appt with my very own dental insurance! The dentist had some super high-tech equipment that apparently detects cavities when they are in their zygote phase. And he was nice enough to tell me that i had ELEVEN cavities! i could hear the "cha-ching" sounds going off in his head as he told me the estimate.

I knew exactly how to handle this information maturely and responsibly:

i quit my job, lost my insurance, and didn't go to the dentist for the next 3 years.

This year though, i could put it off no longer.
Fortunately, for the past 3 years, I have been DILIGENT about proper oral hygiene. I brush twice a day with an electric tooth brush. I floss every night. And I even use fluoride mouthwash. Seriously, i am the tooth nazi.

However, once you have cavities, you can't brush them away, so it wasn't really a shock when the dentist gave me the same news i had gotten 3 years ago.

This dentist will be able to build a nice addition to his house by the time he is done with my mouth :/

The thing that is most infuriating, is that i brush regularly, and it's basically hopeless. I really think I am prone to cavities, and it's genetics. Husbands eats way more sugars and sodas than me, and he remembers to brush his teeth about 50% of the time. AND HE'S NEVER HAD A CAVITY.

Anyhoo. Today was round 1 of fillings. My entire mouth is numb. My lips and tongue keep bumping into each other, and i have a very attractive pile of drool forming on my chin.

Needless to say, i am looking super attractive right now, and you all are jealous.

*and i use that term VERY loosely, because i am still waiting to grow-up