follicles.

Here's a factual statement: I used to have great hair.

I'm serious. It was soft, voluminous, and unique. Women paid $$$ to replicate it, and it turned the most glorious shade of copper in the sunlight.

Sigh, but that is a past tense statement.

You see, my tresses were born and raised in The South. Unlike most woman, it absolutely thrived in humidity. It kept it moisturized, and -rather than being frizzy- made it just poofy enough.

My hair absolutely sucks at living in The Midwest. It's flat, it's stringy, and it's unwilling to cooperate in anyway. (g'ah, it's such a woman sometimes!)

There is a mop on my head, posing as my hairstyle.

I'm fed-up, and i've tried almost everything i can think of.

I'm close to waiving the white flag of surrender. I'll just live in the glory days of my past, and remind you all that, I used to have great hair.

(moment of silence for the hair. I think i hear Taps playing in the far-off distance)