Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Below the Mason-Dixon

The prodigal southerner has returned!!!

on a crazy whim i decided to drive home to memphis (literally, like 2 days ago, decided)
my unemployment days are dwindling down, and with the arrival of summer, i have a lot of weekends already booked. so this was the perfect (and only) time to visit home!

i don't know what i was thinking. it's 700 miles, and over 11 continuous hours of driving!
considering i get antsy after 30mins in the car, this wasn't my brightest idea ever.

i arrived in memphis in one piece. well, physically at least. my mental state has been shattered due to the mind-numbing tediousness of the drive. seriously midwest, get some scenery.

oh, that reminds me:

dear illinois,
if i am expected to pay tolls the whole.effing.way. then i expect the roads to suck less! get your act together. i expect this to be rectified by the time i drive back next week, thank you.

dear southern missouri,
wow. just wow. when, exactly, did you get annexed by arkansas? i had no idea.
i especially loved the "gas station" i stopped at that offered no windshield washing fluid or diet soda options, but provided every kind of liquor known to man.

dear bored kids playing the license plate game,
i'm glad i could help.

it took me exactly 12 hours. and i don't think i'll ever be crazy enough to attempt this drive again solo. next time i will fully embrace the buddy system.

but, truth be told, i kinda feel like a badass. i mean, i just drove across the country by myself, what can't i accomplish???

and on a related note, i am never getting in a car again. ever. if i can't walk or bike there, i ain't going.

but it doesn't matter, because i made it! i'm here! and i'm looking forward to this, and this, and this...and possibly this (and some of these)

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