Update

wow. thanks for the outpouring of support, guys.
I appreciate all the comments, calls, emails, i really do.
and honestly, I'm ok. It's just that my overall happy nature is being overshadowed by sadness a few times a day. I'll be driving down the road minding my own business when i start crying for no apparent reason. hopefully this will subside soon. I mean, it's not even a hormonal thing. (gah, i'm such a woman sometimes)

Beyond that, there's a few things i've done lately to try to cheer myself up.
Most importantly, I went skydiving.

It was awesome. amazing. indescribable. and addictive.

I was on an adrenaline high for days. all i kept thinking was, "i jumped out of a f*cking airplane, i can do anything!"

I really thought this would be a once in a lifetime thing, but now i can't wait to do it again.

(yeesh, wishing i could be hooked on a less expensive hobby)

And, in other news, I've been doing quite a bit of retail therapy. my debit card is currently giving me the silent treatment. she's exhausted. I've gone overboard on boot shopping.

beyond that, i'm really enjoying fall in wisconsin. I was in a depressed fog this time last year, so i feel like i missed out on all of it. This year, i'm trying to make the most of it.
Just the other day i had my first pumpkin spice latte of the season...things are looking up.

Truth.

I've been breaking into spontaneous tears lately.

I'll be going along, minding my own business, when suddenly a salty-liquid starts pouring out of my tear ducts. I hear the gasping sobs, and find myself shocked to realize they're coming from my own mouth.

My therapist pointed out that this is the worst kind of anniversary for me.

It's been a year.

A Year since the hardest part of my life (to date).

In one month's time, I was passed up for a promotion at work, moved home to take care of my dad after major surgery, and flew back to have my husband tell me he was leaving me for someone else.

I think it has to do with the seasons changing. It's automatically reminding my subconscious of the anniversary of doom, even though I'm trying so hard to ignore it.

I try not to think about it. I've come so far in the past year, but still. A month like that would crush the strongest of people (and I am not, in any capacity, the strongest of people).
I'm shocked by what i've accomplished, but i've still got a long way to go.

And i'm not coping well. i mean, technically i'm fine. But rather than be social, i'd rather sit alone in quiet contemplation. I've definitely been eating my feelings. Thank you, 11 pounds i've gained since starting back to work. (the 11 straight weeks of overtime hasn't helped either. it's literally impossible to time-manage my life right now)

i know that there are times to be sad, and times to be joyful. And i guess i'm coming to accept that, for me, this might just be a time to be sad.

If there's anything i've learned in this past year, it's that it's like the tide, and even though it's high now, it will fade.

I just hope it's sooner than later.