I Wish I Were a Loser

Ever since I got my bike, I've noticed some great changes going on in my legs. They're shrinking!!! And getting much more muscley.

Now my arms and beer gut on the other hand...

A few months ago, Husband went out of town, and out of sheer laziness, I only ate lean cuisines for lunch and dinner for the entire weekend. And even though it was just a couple days, I noticed my pants getting roomier.

So I've been looking for an opportunity to take that plan up a notch. August wasn't plausible since I tend to make my birthday last a month, and pig-out the whole time.

But September is the perfect time! Plus, I'm going to be seeing my whole family the beginning of Oct, so working hard the month before could help me look my best.

For the next month I'm planning on, not dieting per se, but taking preventative measures against junk food.

It's not so much that I want to restrict myself, I just want to protect me from bad decisions.

I'll be having breakfasts that are high in fiber, and lean cuisines for lunches and dinners. I've bought crackers and sugar free jellos to ward-off any cases of the munchies. And my case of diet dr pepper should not only keep me from buying a full sugar one across the street everyday (but will also save my wallet tons, since i'm shelling out a $1.50 each time!)

I'll keep biking 5-6 times per week, and I really need to go back to curves more often (since I'm paying for it anyway!)

Before you know it, I'll be the hot redhead that Lindsay Lohan wishes she were.

So wish me luck! I'll try to keep everyone posted on how I'm doing!

Humility, Sponsored by Google

I heart google reader, and look forward to reading it. Admittedly though, I don't know how to use all the little features of it.

Recently, I figured out that you can look at the details of each blog, and find out how many people subscribe each one.

of the blogs i read: most have between 100-1,000 subscribers

Which (naturally) made me curious how many I might have.

Based on these findings, i guessed that I might have about 60...

So i click on apathetic fish's info, and find that i have a whopping: 8. EIGHT

I mean, I know I "celebrate mediocrity" but geez

And the most pitiful part?
technically, it's 7 because I'm one of them

BUT rather than be sad about the small number*, I am going to treasure those 7 like days o' the week undies!!!

sunday: amber monday: elle tuesday: rachel (...and I have no idea who the rest of you are, but I appreciate you just the same!!!!)

So for those of you that do read this, thanks!!! (And feel free to tell your friends**)

*quality, not quantity right?
**shameless self promotion

It's Not Easy Being Green

Admittedly, when I first moved here, the sight of all this environmental friendliness was blinding. I mean really, all this solar panels and Prius' were almost enough to make a girl buy a hummer and vote republican (...almost).

Early on, I switched to compact florescent bulbs as a minuscule attempt to appease the [carbon footprint conscious] masses. (I was hoping to avoid a tar and feathering, but they're so dang nice around here it's more like a 30 minute lecture and pamphlet-ing)

I was more than pleased to keep my SUV. But over the course of this past year, I've found i drive less and less. Now that I have a bike, I use that as my first method of transport, bus second*, car last.

I've been cultivating the thought (for awhile now) that we could definitely survive with just one car. Unfortunately, I've also been told (multiple, multiple times) that Husband intends on never (ever) getting rid of his "baby" (aka-car).

HOWEVER! if he ever does get a large dose of "save a polar bear"-itis, then here is my utopia of transportation:

My Bike (of course)

seriously mom, stop buying me orange PLEASE


a VESPA!!!



And a toyota camry hybrid

that's right, I said hybrid...this is me, JUMPING on the bandwagon. woop, woop.

Oh dear lord, I'm one fair-trade outfit away from being a madisonite.** Guess I better start buying local and acting accepting towards others...

*i use Husband's free student bus pass, yo.
**madisonian? madisonese?

Things That Make You Go Woo

I accidentally participated in a marathon this morning.

Ok, fine. It was a half-marathon.

Ok, fine. I was on my bike.

All morning long, I kept hearing faint "woo's" outside my window. Since it was freezing*, and my 60 year-old windows don't exactly shut well, I assumed it was the wind. I tried my best to ignore and get ready for work.

Being overly pleased with myself that I was ready for work EARLY, I grabbed my bike and headed outside with a huge smile on my face. A smile that was quickly slapped off by the wind**.

Oddly enough, I could still hear woo, but it wasn't coming from the breeze. As I headed towards the main roads, the woo's became louder and louder. Then, in one right-turn, I suddenly found myself surrounded by red-faced runners, with numbers on their shirts.

I tried my best to stay out of their way. Sadly, no spectators provided me with a woo.

Fortunately for me, the intimidating traffic cops were only mean to cars, and we're beyond helpful to me (and, let's be honest, my ridiculous predicament that only I could have managed to get into).

I suppose it's better than the last time I found myself surrounded by runners. On a particularly "rough" morning, we went to Mickies for grease and coffee, to find ourselves surrounded by marathoners who we carboloading for an entirely different reason.
[I love that I have just woken up, and they had already run 26.2 miles***]

However, I'm about to toot my own horn (and I imagine it to be something like a trumpet), I will give myself props and announce that I'm attempting to ride 6 miles tomorrow (before work). However, it says you can stop and start whenever you want, so we'll see if I get past .05

Wish me luck!

p.s. mom, stop buying me orange. I had on an orange sweatshirt while riding an orange bike. You couldn't decipher between me and the construction barrels marking the race path.

*50 degrees in August. COME ON WISCONSIN, SERIOUSLY!?!?
**it also made a yo-mama joke, punched me in the stomach, and then laughed at me as I hugged myself and cried.
***but you know what, I bet I drank waaay more than them the night before, so HA

Addendum

Not sure if this is exactly I was talking about in my last post, OR IF IT'S THE GREATEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME*

*hopefully the latter

Dear Parents,

No matter what you may think, your child is not exceptional.*

And even though you might find it adorable, bad behavior is simply that, bad behavior. Encourage it at a young age, and then blame everyone else when they become satan's minions during their teenage years (especially the teachers, it's always the teachers fault).

When your child makes a mess, and you leave it, someone has to clean it up. No, it's not "typical" for a server or sales assistant to have to clean up mounds of products** off the floor. And if you're not going to pick it up yourself, the least you could do is let someone know before another customer finds it and considers the store slovenly. Beyond that, the rest of the customers did not come to the store to see your child. The don't find the screaming cute or endearing.

If you're child cannot behave at a restaurant, mall, etc, DON'T BRING THEM. Treat yourself to an afternoon alone and get a babysitter.

That is all.

With Regards,
Your Apathetic Fish

*except for MY nephew and niece, but that's just common sense

**see also: urine

Yes, but He's MY Idiot

Husband and I were at the laundromat yesterday. While I went for a walk around the neighborhood (don't worry, we went to the non-ghetto one this time), Husband was left with the responsibility of swapping the clothes from the washers to the dryers.

Seems easy, right?

He pulled the clothes out of the ginormous, front-loading washers and walks over to the "dryers". He puts the clothes in, puts in the money, and presses start. Only to find water gushing out. Turns out, he had somehow confused a top-loading washer* for a clothes dryer. After a momentary panic, he starts pulling clothes out before they got too soaked.

Enter me, laughing my ass off. I wasn't even mad about the $1.50 in quarters I'd never see again...however, the owner of the place was there and cracked-up when he found out what happened (...because i told him. it was too funny to not share!). He was nice enough to refund our money, and considered it worth the entertainment.

Aww, sweet Husband.

I have to say, since I've met him, he constantly keep me laughing...it's about 60/40 whether it's at/with him.


*I mean, maybe I could understand if it was front-loading, but seriously??? how would clothes dry in a top-loader?